Masturbate, Meditate, Exfoliate
Observation · writing · personal_truth · visibility: publishable
The three pillars. Arrived at live in a Diarly entry written during a rage-quit from a Google search: ‘Masturbate, meditate, exfoliate.’ Her gloss: ‘sometimes you just need to work out some excess energy. Then you use that unironic clarity for 10 minutes of meditation. And then you take a whole body shower and get the fuck over it. WHICH IS HOW IT SHOULD BE. BUT THE NEW YORKER’S THE CUT WON’T LET ME LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE.’ The slapstick tricolon outperforms the entire wellness industry because it names a real sequence without aestheticizing it. She then couldn’t publish it anywhere because the vehicle doesn’t exist. The irony is load-bearing: the content is done, it’s genuinely better advice than the 1990s-New-Age-sex-pest version, and the obstacle is infrastructure.
Connections
- → O.trapped-in-chats · leads_to
- → O.slapstick-before-elevated · instance_of
source: Frustration with website builders and paywalls (2026-04-04) · extraction: auto (schema v3.1)